Chicanonautica
visites the new, improved Cultura wars over at La Bloga.
It has
to do with Chipotle's Cultivating Thought branding campaign, and it's
lack of Latino writers:
It
inspired Rudy Ch. Garcia to propose #LatinoStory4Chipotle. Which
inspired the following story:
A
SLICE OF MY LIFE AS A CHICANO STATE OF SCI-FI
©
Ernest Hogan 2014
Got
a message from Victor Theremin: MEET ME AT EL BRAVO, MUY PRONTO!
I
rushed to mi troque and zig-zagged through Phoenix. I hadn’t heard
from Victor in years. And I needed no excuse to indulge in El
Bravos’s red meat burritos.
I
passed a burning Chipotle on the way.
At
the restaurant, I looked around. No Victor. But I saw someone
dressed as a saguaro cactus at a table, sitting next to a brain in a
plexiglass box.
“Ernie,
I’d like you to meet Flash Gomez,” the brain said in Victor’s
voice.
“Flash!
I haven’t seen you since you disappeared back in the Nineties --”
“Yes.
A lot has happened since then.”
Then
agents in FBI-ish suits and sunglasses burst in, brandishing sparking
stun guns.
“Don’t
worry, I’ll take care of this,” said Victor’s brain. It began
to glow with a pulsating yellow light, accompanied by an electronic
whine. They pulsed and throbbed faster and faster.
Soon
I was dizzy and couldn’t see.
The
next thing I knew I was in my backyard, seated in full-lotus position
facing the big cow skull. I had the aftertaste of salsa in my mouth
and a tingling in my inner ears. When I got up and peered over the
fence, everything looked wrong.
Instead
of our neighborhood, I saw a Martian landscape, just like the NASA
photos. Except there was a Chipotle on a nearby hill. It was burning.
I
asked my wife, “Did we always live on Mars?”
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